10 Things I've Learned in 2022

Every year that comes and goes is an opportunity to learn and grow. This past year has been especially that for me. Coming out of 2021, leaving my full-time job as a hairstylist, behind the chair at the salon, to focus more on my kids and family, I was full of lots of different emotions. I was excited for the change, yet nervous I would lose myself or purpose. Yet, this has been a season of pruning, growth, as well as harvest for me in my own life (not to get too gardeny in the metaphors). I've had to cut away lots of pride and selfishness and allow roots of trust to grow deeper. God has brought me through to the end of this year with a deeper understanding of who He is as well as who I am.

As the end of 2022 approaches, I thought I would share some of the top lessons I've learned from this year. It is a bit long so hang with me or feel free to just skip ahead to the end.

1. Growth Takes Change

Probably one of the hardest and most meaningful lessons of this year for me is that growth takes change. Pivoting from a working full-time mom to staying home with my kids was a HUGE change for me. I was burned out completely and needed the break, but little did I know that God would help me so much in this season. He brought healing to my wounded, hurting heart, allowed me to discover new passions, such as gardening and writing, and took me into a season of trusting less in my own abilities and more on Him.

Although change is scary, and this change for me was really hard, it has brought a tremendous amount of growth for me personally and spiritually this year. If you feel stuck, as I did, it might be time for a change. It might be time to take a good hard look at your life and your priorities and rearrange them. Whatever that may look like is up to you. We are not meant to stay seeds, safe in a packet, but rather be buried in the dirt, watered and sprout into something brand new. Each of us unique in our own way.

2. It is okay to say "no"

As a life-long people pleaser, this has been a true challenge for me this year. Learning to say "no" to even seemingly good things has allowed me to prioritize God and my family first in my life instead of pleasing everyone else around me. This is something I am still working on and probably will be forever, because I hate letting others down, but a huge lesson I learned this year under this umbrella was you can't be everything to everyone. This was an impossible standard I was putting on myself for years and truly one of the main things that led me to a deep place of burn out. When you spend all your time trying to please everyone else around you, you tend to let down the ones that mean the most.

3. God's Plans are Better Than Our Own

I mean I've known this truth for years, but I've seen it play out more personally this year. As I leaned in and trusted God, shifting my focus from work to family, I have seen the fruit of this continually over this past year. I've seen His provision for our family as well as the change in my own heart towards parenting.

Circumstances didn't change much, and we still dealt with our fair share of struggles with our kids, but where I've seen the most growth is in my attitude towards it. I don't feel completely defeated by the little things as much as I used to and I'm learning to pray more before every decision and every move, trusting God will lead the way. This lesson has been pivotal in my life this year. God knows best!

4. Don't Take Life So Seriously

I am the queen of taking life too seriously. Not my greatest attribute. But I'm learning that it is okay to let go a little. To live in the moment more and have FUN. Children will help with this one as they instinctually don't take much seriously, unless they have learned to. With my kids being the ages that they are, we laugh a lot and play hard. They are teaching me to pause the to-dos, loosen up, and have fun more often. Life is serious enough on its own; I really don't want to miss opportunities to have fun, be silly, and make memories with the kids because other things needed to get done.

5. Pain and Sorrow Produce Joy

The beginning of this year began a season of pruning. A season of pulling out weeds that had grown in my heart. Weeds of selfishness, pride, and bitterness. I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of working too hard and then feeling guilty. This year has had its fair share of challenges, including health issues with all of our children. Thankfully at different times, but each struggled with their own individual ailments that took extra time, patience, wisdom, and finances from my husband and me.

Yet, I truly can say that it has been through these trials, these painful seasons that has produced the most joy. A joy that surpasses all understanding. I have learned to lean more on God when I don't seem to know which way to go next. I've been learning to come out the other side of these situations extra grateful for the lessons learned. Life will never be perfect, mama, but I can attest that it is only through the pain and sorrow, the pits and valleys, that we learn to truly appreciate the mountaintops. Just as the sun shines brightest after the darkest night, joy too comes after the most painful of circumstances. We just have to leave our hearts open to it.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

James 1:2-3

6. Trusting God is Hard

This year I have had to relinquish control of many situations. I really like to plan and for things to go according to that plan, but God keeps bringing me to the end of myself and teaching me that He is the one in control, not me. But He also understands that this is hard. We are human. We will always fall short and I'm sure if you are like me, you will keep trying to take back control, but trusting God to be in the driver seat it so freeing when we allow Him to do that.

He sees the whole picture when we only see what is right in front of us. We may not understand why we must walk through something, maybe the same something over and over, but God is working in it. If we slow down and take time to listen, we can learn the lessons God is trying to teach us. And if we are willing, we can use our pain and our stories to help others around us. It is the greatest privilege.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5

7. Parenting is a Journey

Parenting is a journey. It ebbs and flows. You have seasons when you feel you have a handle on the schedule and the chaos. Things seem to move smoothly. Then, comes seasons when you don't have a clue at what you are doing. Your children are extra hard, and you feel unprepared or just at a loss. You lose your temper more often than you'd like and everything just feels hard.

I've been in both seasons of parenting, but to be completely honest, I have spent more of my time in the latter. The majority of my motherhood journey I've felt completely unprepared for the things that we have been challenged with. Yet I am living, breathing proof that you don't have to have all the answers. In God's goodness, He keeps showing up; little by little and revealing bits of wisdom as we trust Him to guide us as parents. This has been crucial in our parenting journey, to trust God's guidance and understand that it is a journey.

8. There is No Perfect Parent

Whew! Parenting is tough. Am I right? The lesson that I seem to be learning in this department is that there is no perfect parent (besides God Himself). I will never be a perfect mom, and neither will you, however, God has designed each one of us uniquely, purposefully, and perfectly to be the moms that we are. What you have is something your children need, and what I have is something that my children need.

As a woman with a perfectionist personality, this has been a hard pill for me to swallow. I always want to do everything right and perfect and not make mistakes, yet I am only human and literally mess up every single day. Thankfully we don't have to be perfect, rather just continue to point our children to the ONE who is. When we do that, we get to be the best witnesses to our little people. Showing them that God uses imperfect people every day. In big ways, and in small. Your imperfectness can help point your kiddos to the God who is perfect. Their good, good Father, who loves them immeasurably.

9. Everyone is Struggling

This one has been big for me this year too. I'm going to drop this little truth bomb right here. EVERYONE IS STRUGGLING. EVERYONE. No one has perfectly well-behaved children all of the time. No one feels like they have all the answers or have it all together. We all struggle with confidence and feelings of inadequacies. What seems to be the natural pattern is to hide these parts of ourselves. To not talk about the hard things. We put our best foot forward and pretend life is all good, but to be completely honest, something I have learned especially over this last year is that we are all dealing with things. Some are better at hiding it than others. Some are better at pushing through than others. Don't compare your life and your journey to someone else's highlight reel. It will only leave you feeling defeated.

10. Your Words Matter/ You Matter

We live in a world with a lot of noise. A lot of distractions and voices calling to us all the time. For a long time (and still today) I have struggled trying to find my voice among all the others. I don't want to be just another clanging symbol, if you know what I mean. I want my words and my life to have meaning and purpose. I believe we all desire for this in one way or another. Maybe you don't write like me, but maybe you sing, maybe you craft, maybe you are good with numbers...whatever it is God has placed unique gifts and abilities in your heart that this world needs. I think the common thread, is we all desire for our life to mean something. To find our purpose and make even just a small difference in the world around us.

We all have a story. We all have had unique experiences, upbringings, and days lived here on this big blue planet. Which is why your words, your story and you matter. Only you can be you and God is faithful to use each and every one of us to make an impact in the world. This is one that I feel I will have to continue to learn over and over but knowing that God has purposely designed me to share the stories and words in my heart, He has done the same for you. We can all make an impact. It may feel small, but you never know the ripple effect that you can create. Don't give up. Don't let the world drown you out. Your voice matters. Your story matters. And most importantly YOU MATTER.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Ephesians 2:10

Sorry for the long-winded post. Thanks for sticking with me. Clearly 2022 has been a great learning year for me and I pray that you can take something from all of this with you. What has been the greatest lesson you have learned this year? As a new year approaches, may we all take just a few moments to reflect on this past year. To be honest with ourselves and to allow God to work through us and in us in this next chapter. You are so loved dear one. I pray you feel that and know that above all else.

Love you mama!